sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
