I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize