i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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