i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
