her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
