i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
