meet me or not, i'm out of control
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
