Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
