Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
