): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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