o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I think my moral compass just broke
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