it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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