literally had 100 drinks last night.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
