We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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