Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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