It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
