i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
