Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
