she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
