We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
