Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
