i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
