i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
