you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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