I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
