Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize