I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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