quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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