I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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