I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
