he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
