i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize