I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
