I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
