38 yer olds are good kisserssss
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
