theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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