I'm pants shitting drunk right now
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
