We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
