I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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