Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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