The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize