Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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