Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
