I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
