Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
