Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
