Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize