I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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