i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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