Walk of Shame. In a state park.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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