She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
