I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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