He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
We got so high we made milksteak
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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