I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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