there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
