office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
