dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
