just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
