I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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