Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I need to sanitize my soul.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
