Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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